Fruit from Obedience

A couple years ago, I went on an outreach to the Philippines with a team of 12. We were called to the big island in the northern province of mountainous Benguet, serving the city of Baguio and villages of Balabak, and Cada. One of the ministries we engaged in was to go to the local hospital to pray and speak truth and life over the patients. It was nearing late afternoon when we were heading back from the hospital one day, and as we passed the neighbors next door to where we were lodging, my phone picked up their wifi signal. I felt a buzz.

As I lay my day-bag on my bed, I then checked my phone and read a message that broke my heart. My parents had let me know that my dear Grandma De Ruyter had passed away from cancer. My mind went in a thousand different directions, and I burst into tears as my heart started to race. I started questioning if and when I should go home for the funeral, and "should I go back to finish the outreach?", and how it would all work. I didn't know what to do. My team prayed over me, and then I started talking to the LORD after I called my parents. All emotions were heightened, my heart & mind wouldn't stop going and I just cried out to the LORD. We were to leave for a village in the mountains in less than 48 hours so my decision needed to be quick. I asked Him what to do and for clarity. I asked Him for 100% peace if He wanted me to stay and do what I was there to do. I asked Him for verses, pictures, words, anything to confirm what He wanted. Then I just sat there crying.

Within a few minutes, I completely stopped. Everything completely stopped. My mind stopped racing, my heart stopped racing, and I had complete peace over my entire body as the LORD touched me. He flooded the room, He flooded my thoughts. I heard Him say very clearly to me 3 words, "Stay, be here". He then gave me 2 verses: Psalm 38:8-11 & Psalm 48:7-14. The words that popped off the page to me were, "your kin stand far off" & "you will tell the next generation that this is God". He then reminded me of why I was there, and reassured me that Grandma was proud of me too. I didn't know how to tell my dad I wasn't coming home for his mother's funeral, so I prayed & just sat there. The next morning I was to call him and let him know, but before I did, as I was holding my phone, he messaged me and told me that he felt I needed to hear that he knew the decision I needed to make was hard, and that everything was alright if I didn't go home. He said he was proud of me.

The next morning, we left early for Balabak village, half a days journey from the city. As soon as we got there, we went to a church function and did ministry. The next morning, we got up at 5am, did some praise & worship, then headed down the mountain into the village, and went to the school. I was to teach the 10th grade class. We memorized scripture (John 3:15-17) and then I tied in part of my own testimony along with explaining the scripture. There was a point where I had to be vulnerable and tell them what just happened in my family, but also knowing that my Grandma was a believer and loved Jesus, & that had brought me comfort. After an hour of teaching, ministering, and being so real with them, I asked if anyone would like to receive Jesus into their hearts as their LORD and Savior, and about half the class stood up. It was so beautiful, and I prayed over them. Joy followed and there were so many hugs and smiles.

(Pictured below is the 10th grade class, aren't they beautiful?!)

Later on that day, as I was reflecting & processing with the LORD on what had happened, He made it so clear that this is what can happen when you are obedient. He honored me in my obedience, and let me see fruit from it. Despite my flesh wanting to go home and just be with my family, obeying the One Who created me was more important. It was all worth it, to see 15 & 16 year old's accept Jesus into their hearts for the 1st time, and see the joy He gave them! I remembered the verses from Psalms that He gave me a couple days prior about my kin being far off, but I would tell the next generation of God. Such a precious thing to partner in with Holy Spirit. This entire experience was such a faith builder for me as I was learning how to listen to God's voice intentionally for the first time in my life, and have a RELATIONSHIP that I hadn't had before, with my heavenly Father. Never have I been given such peace in my entire being than that night of confirmation to stay, and never had I been so grateful to have obeyed the LORD as He knew what was best.

You may ask why I haven't written about this testimony until now... Well, the LORD put it on my heart, and I am currently in a season of trying to deepen my trust in the LORD, and just trusting that He knows me better than I know myself. Obviously He knows better... He's the One Who created me, and He has the solution/answer to any situation/question I have, before I have it. His plans, His ways are better. He works everything for good to those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). The amazing thing about the LORD Jesus is that whatever decision I would have made, He would have loved me just the same!

My dear Jesus, I say that I trust You & Your sovereignty. I believe that You know me better than I know myself. Your ways are higher than my ways, & Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Soften my heart towards Your will to the point of it oozing, & let me be wooed by You my beautiful Love! Let obeying You become so easy, without even a second thought. I am Yours, You are mine! I love You!